Improptu article

eto lang yan eh, kulang talaga ang space sa status ng FB in fairness to, no gay lingo at impromptu

(From my FB Notes, Tuesday, October 20, 2009)

Now at this point you taste your victory for making me down, and I know you're happy...well you should be. But, I guess your happiness just lies in there. If your happiness is making a person down well then so be it! Thanks to me for making you happy...If your happiness is equals to someone's grief, you won this time! If that's what you want, I'll just let you to be and treated me that way. If that will help for the advancement your ideological foundation and increase your political gain, well, I'm happy that I've helped a 'comrade' like you, (even your attitude don't look like one).


Maybe, you may just feel that you've won but I know and I'm confident that I am the winner here, for you've just shown everybody your real self and you've just proven that you don't deserve any respect from everybody always remember my dear comrade, "respect is earned!" for me you don't deserve not a single drop of respect from me as well as to other people.

I know for myself, I've proven if not everything, at least "something" I believe despite of my lapses, mistakes & imperfections, I know there are still people whom I gain their respects by earning them and not by imposing them to respect me. I still believe, after all, my friends were still at my side no matter what, in spite of everything and now I know who were my real friends are. I know that there are still people who believe in me and with my abilities.

I pity those people who have nothing to proud be of and haven't proven anything and yet, as arrogant, immodest and antagonistic as if they have shown everything they've got and proven everything, well in fact don't have anything to prove and I think they just a "nobody" compared to me and to what I've done and achieved

I'm really planning to leave anyway, I've made up my mind. They don't have to do it, I'm just waiting for the right time and I just have to finish all those "unfinished" crap! You may also ask the angels and even the demons!

And now, If I will totally turned back-faced to what I have and where I am right now. This is not to show my cowardice, it's just only to show to everyone my valor and worth as a person; for I don't want to be as self-aggrandizing person as my adversary. And mostly, after all the sacrifices I've made, I wanted to have a dignified and graceful exit.

I know bourgeois world is waiting for me and I'm welcome ... with open arms...

I hope that I've made you all happy... even if it is parallel to leaving the world I've loved for almost a decade...

https://www.facebook.com/notes/scarlett-de-la-rea-scandal/eto-lang-yan-eh-kulang-talaga-ang-space-sa-status-ng-fb-in-fairness-to-no-gay-li/155988689204

An old blog entry

ang bad trip experience [mula sa Friendster blog ko (Sept. 1, 2009)]


Monday, December 14, 2009 at
bad trip talaga, supposedly may get-together kami ng mga kaibigan ko ending nag-kape na lang kami haaay ayun lang naman tagal kong hinintay yung araw na yun at eto pang isang kakainis na bagay, bad trip na nga dahil sa na-cancel na event, masisira pa lalo ang araw mo sa unknown texter na sumisira ng mood mo..

akakalain mo ba naman na bad trip ka na nga nung gabing yun sasabay pa to ng epalerong texter at ang malupit jan ibang level na to eto na alam na ang pangalan ko..at pinipilit na taga teresa St. ako eh hindi nga eh di ba alam nyo namn yun diba?! kakainis ayaw akong tigilan ng mga ito pag tinawagan mo nmn out-of-service area yung maririnig mo hindi mo lamg kung nanandya o kung ano…haaay ampota malaman ko lang talaga kung sino ang promotor nito lahat ng ito naku po patawarin ako... hindi ko alam kung ano magagawa ko sa kanya

wala lang share ko lang internet na lang kasi ang bestfriend ko ngayon.....

- - - - - - 

sa dami ng pinagdadaanan ko ngayon, puro problema at sakit haaay alam nyo ba na irregular na ang heartbeat ko sa depression sa ngyayari sa buhay ko… kung bakit naman kasi puro mga insensitive na tao ang mga nakapaligid sa akin. kaya eto wala akong mapag-share-an sa internet lang… saka may bagay talang ang hirap -ishare sa iba…nakakatakot na baka walang makaintindi sa akin, haahhh ang hirap talaga kung maibabalik ko lang ang oras ng buhay ko babalikan ko yung panahon na may mali akong ginawang desisyon na xang nagpabago sa buhay ko ngayon, kung hindi ba ako sumugal ng ganito mananalo kaya ako… kasi ngayon alam ko talong-talo ako kahit pamato at panabla itinaya ko… pero wala akong napala.

Ang hirap palang maging selfless minsan. pakiramdam ko nagamit lang ako sa pansariling gain ng mga selfish, impulsive, insensitive at mga walang kwentang tao…

(tama nga siguro yung description nya sa sarili nya sa isa sa mga social networking sites- na wla xang kwenta)Hindi ako bitter dahil wala naman dapat ipag-bitter…gusto kong magalit pero dapat kong isipin na dapat magalit din ako sa sarili ko dahil ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan (teka kasalanan ko nga lang ba talaga) sa tingin ko kung hindi nagyari yun hindi magiging ganito…siguro nga kasalanan ko ang masakit lang never kasi pinahalagahan ang lahat parang walang worth or value ang lahat…siguro dahil nakuha lang kasi ng walang effort at walang kahit anong hirap… kaya siguro never binigyan ng halaga. Tama tama kasalanan ko nga lang tong lahat… ako kasi eh…ang tanga tanga…haayy matalino naman akong tao at hindi ako nagpapatalo, palaban ika nga kilala ako sa "insti" at sa tingin ng lahat ay halos perpekto, dahil "perfectionist" nga daw  (magbubuhat muna ako ng bangko) pero bakit parang bigla kong nakalimutan ang lahat ng aral na natutunan ko? bakit bigla akong naging tanga… siguro nga hindi namn talaga ako matalino akala lang siguro yung ng mga lecheng tao sa paligid ko! sila lang siguro ang nagpilit na isaksak sa utak ko yun kaya yun na rin ang iniisip ko…pero ang totoo tanga naman talaga ako. Bakit ba kasi ganito eh..sana may makabasa sana may makinig… at lalong sana may taong handang umintindi at umunawa, na tao lang ako at nakakamali hindi ako perpekto, at hindi rin ako Dyos. 

Ang hiling ko lang naman, sana pagkatapos ng lahat lahat ng mga nangyari at mga nagawa ko tanggapin pa rin ako ng lipunang ginagalawan ko...at ng mga taong alam kong mga tunay na nagmamahal sa akin bilang ako, hindi bilang taong kilala nila dahil sila'y may kailangan o pabor na dapat pagbigyan... https://www.facebook.com/notes/scarlett-de-la-rea-scandal/ang-bad-trip-experience-mula-sa-friendster-blog-ko-sept-1-2009/199609364204